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24 April 2026
I have had a hard time identifying myself as a Christian, over the last few years. Identity is not necessarily about truth. My views on the truth of Christianity are basically the same as in Formulalessness. I think philosophy suggests the Bible may be true, with some force. It supports some distinctively Christian doctrines. Exactly how true this makes Christianity, I haven't done the work to say. I don't rely on the Bible or the truth as independent authorities. But identity is more about, would I vote for Christianity if it was on the ballot. Or, am I on "team Christianity"? Notably, for me to do this, I have to make the scenario in which the truth says Christianity is untrue, and I identify with that fact, somehow part of Christian identity. I don't want to abandon the truth, whatever it is, and I think overall that is the wrong thing to do.
I have been comfortable saying "I would be classified as a Christian by non-Christians" (perhaps by scholars of religion). But until now, I have not been comfortable saying I was a Christian. Most Christians are not willing to say they are Christians if "being Christian" can mean just anything. Here are two conditions (there may be more I'm not aware of in this moment) which, if satisfied, allow me to say I'm a Christian, a version of Christianity I would vote for, whether it turned out to be true or not. These conditions are in contrast to my overall experience of the Christian world I've participated in. (Probably there are conditions I would make that I'm less aware of, which were assumed by that world.)
1. Christianity as a form of Judaism. I'm not primarily interested in things like obeying the Mosaic law, more so here the mentality of people living in exile, particularly their ability to see, conceive of, remember, and talk about unhappiness, mourning, defeat, and tragedy, as well as patience and survival, the ability to keep going despite not winning. Christianity as contrasted with Judaism lends itself to triumphalism and toxic positivity. Also, there is a distinctive but not necessarily good element to Christianity which can be seen in cultures that put grace over repentance. This keeps people mired in sinfulness longer than necessary and multiplies victims. I see less of this in Judaism. An extreme (that is, logically consistent) version of this grace culture is Calvinism, another one universalism, both of which VMH contradicts. (Though God is on "team universalism", the reality is that not everyone will necessarily be saved.)
2. Christianity as truth. The previous condition, I've been aware of for some time, but this is the new one that seems to put me over the line. Christianity can be seen as a family religion. For many, or most, it is. But when it was new, it was about truth. The truth is what it is -- may validate your existing beliefs, which hold together your community, or not. Christianity as truth opposes the practice of believing what you do because it is what the people you like believe. It is dangerous -- potentially alienating and producing conflict. Christianity as truth says "question Christianity" -- if it's true, then so much the better for it. Yet it also says "commit to Christianity if it's true", commit not to questioning, but to true belief and the process of seeking true belief. It says that Christianity needs to be good (in a good form) according to reality (God, and people's real situations), not according to definitions of goodness agreed on by the church (or by the secular world, for that matter). (Since "Christianity as truth" is a new thought to me, I may be leaving something out, but I think that's enough to get started.)
What do I do with this Christian identity? I'm not sure. I probably won't change much anytime soon, except feel more comfortable saying I'm a Christian.